It's That Time of Year

So, what did you accomplish this year? Did you manage to keep up with your resolutions? Succeed your expectations? Or did you (like me) get sucked under by the Bonzai Pipeline of life?

Well, here's your chance to fight back (isn't it great that it comes around every year?). Get ready to redeem yourself.

2009 is nigh. In just a few scant days - mere hours, really - that big old glittery ball will come down in Times Square, the fireworks will go off, the bubbly will pop, if you're lucky your special someone(s) will plant a big wet one on you, and we'll be off to the races for another year.

If you, like me, watched your goal lines drift further and further away, like a nightmare where you run as hard as you can, but your destination fades inexorably, frustratingly, into the distance, then this will be your opportunity to regroup, re-evaluate where you stand, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, gird your loins, and make a whole new game plan for success. And remember, that success is a very personal thing. It can be a single, small achievement. It can be a great and masterful one. It can be a day-to-day resolution to simply keep trying, keep going, fight the good fight. To find the right words. Or hone a skill. To be more prolific, more organized, more diligent or raise the bar another notch. What is your goal? What are you driven to do in 2009?

I did not reach my goal of a polished manuscript this year. Though, in truth, I did a lot of good writing, and I learned a good deal about my skills - and my shortcomings. I learned to write tight, short, succinct fiction which, given my propensity for epic writing, is no small achievement. I learned some technical things, including a tremendous deal about the business, the industry and where publishing is poised to surge ahead (e-publishing, by the way, is the answer). I garnered a wealth of knowledge about marketing and promotion theory and practice. I made a first trip to a great conference and networked like crazy, meeting new people from both sides of the writing aisle. I discovered that I had unknowingly developed an on-line presence for myself, simply by having a blog, interacting with other bloggers and participating in on-line discussion groups, and sharing what knowledge I have, such as the legal aspects of publishing and intellectual property. In some cases just giving support and congratulations. So it was not a complete failure. But my achievements were tarnished by my failure to live up to my own expectations.

Where I did not hold my own, where I fell down on the job, was in finding and fighting for my personal time. Familial obligations, a full-time job, and an inability to say "no" to volunteering whenever asked, both required extensive time and energy commitments. As a result I did not, ultimately, follow through with plans to rise earlier, go to bed later, or in general carve out those precious blocks of time to work on my desired projects. It is desperately hard to do this. I should have been more motivated by the non-support - no, the blatant anti-support - I received from family. But instead I let them get me down, I succumbed to their negativity and wallowed in my own lack of progress. For 2009, however, I'll use those snarky comments as fuel for my determination. Of course, suffering some guilt will be implicit in this planning. The cabinets will be slightly more bare. The floors a bit less shiny, and the dust bunnies a tad more prolific (but hey, they don't carry rabies, so what difference could it make?). I will be less available for certain family members who wish to syphon off my time for their frivolous needs. Fewer committees will have my services, fewer personal requests for assistance will be fulfilled, and I'll get less sleep than I might like.

But it will all be worth it. In 2009 I'm going to take what I DID learn in 2008 and put it to good use. I will meet my goal of a finished, polished, manuscript. I will meet my goal of submitting it to an honest-to-goodness publisher. And I will meet my goal of proving to myself, once and for all, that I am, indeed, the author, the writer, that I have steadfastly claimed to be - despite evidence offered to the contrary by naysayers. And I extend my most heartfelt wish for the same for all of my fellow writers who have struggled to balance their lives and their creative needs. Be strong. Be fearless. Be brave in heart and soul and strong in body and mind.

Now. What do you resolve?